ic: isle of avalon inbox

[notcethleann]

Hello there! My, what a remarkable device this is. It is so very exciting to have a mail box of my very own! Now, what is it that one should say...ah! Ahem. This is Flayn. As I understand it, you are trying to reach me, but I am not responding! How rude of me. Oh, but I am certain I have a good reason! And that I shall tell it to you when I speak with you again. So put a message here and tell me what you require, so that I may help you when I have returned!

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[sereneadherent]

Marianne has had a lot of time to think about things lately, which has worked out well enough because she's also had a lot to think about ever since Flayn's birthday celebration. In quieter moments, she plays parts of that evening over and over in her mind, remembering her friend's radiance... how flustered she became from the touch of her lips on her hand... the sting of envy when Claude was brave enough to actually kiss her...

Goddess, she's developing feelings for her, isn't she?

It's a thought she's sure she wouldn't have even entertained a few moons ago. Didn't entertain a few moons ago, even when given opportuntiies to. But a lot has changed since then, at least for her internally--words have been bled into a journal in attempts to make sense of herself, and an unexpected baring of souls with Lorenz cemented it the reality of it.

In keeping with her own advice to Lorenz (whether or not he'll listen to it is irrelevant, right now), Marianne's resolved to try and live honestly with her feelings and this newfound acceptance of her heart and desires. Those feelings are complicated--there is, after all, a certain pink-headed woman back home that she's been in love with for years. But she's confident that how she feels toward Flayn isn't meant to be a replacement for that, and maybe talking it out together will help make things clearer.

Of course, it's easy to be confident in oneself in the abstract. It's another to put that to practice, especially with the potential of rejection as an outcome. Marianne has made it as far as Flayn's door, standing there awkwardly for several moments fighting the urge to turn tail and run back to her room. Maybe she should talk to Claude first? Or Byleth and Edelgard? They seem to have this all figured out.

But she's already here, and with no small amount of effort she squeezes her eyes shut and knocks.

"Flayn? It's Marianne."

[notcethleann]

Flayn plays parts of her birthday celebration repeatedly in her mind, too - her first real kiss, yes, but also other things. The way Marianne lit up when she laughed, and that Flayn was the one who'd made her laugh. The way she blushed when Flayn kissed her hand. And beyond that night, the gentle yet firm way she'd soothed Flayn's fears in the hall of mirrors. (And, okay, listen. She's a few thousand years old. She can admit that seeing Marianne mostly naked was pretty unforgettable.)

But how does one know what sorts of feelings one has, exactly? She feels differently about each person she knows. Each friendship is unique. How does one differentiate between all the different ways there are to care for someone?

These things aren't quite at top of mind when the knock on her door comes, but they're lurking close beneath the surface as she pokes around on the network for ideas about potentially finding somewhere to work. They bubble up to the surface in a rush when her visitor speaks, and she jumps up to hurry to the door.

She opens it with a sunny smile. "Ah, Marianne! I was not expecting a visit today, but I am quite pleased that you have come. Please, come inside!" She steps away from the door to let the other woman in.

"Would you like some tea and crab cakes?"

[sereneadherent]

The cheery way that Flayn greets her causes her heart to skip a beat, and it takes a moment for her to recover. 'Focus, Marianne,' she scolds herself internally. This conversation is doomed to go absolutely nowhere if she's going to let herself be thrown by something as simple as a smile.

Although it's a really nice smile, in all fairness.

"Tea and crab cakes sound wonderful, thank you. I hope I'm not intruding."

Marianne steps inside as Flayn moves, wringing her hands a little for lack of another way to release the nervous energy inside of her.

[notcethleann]

"Of course not! Your presence is never an intrusion - you are always welcome here. Please, sit. I shall fetch the snacks."

Flayn moves to the little kitchen area of her modest quarters and hums a tune as she puts the kettle on and warms up the crab cakes. In just a few minutes, everything is ready, and she brings it all into the dining area on a tray and sets it down on the table.

As she takes a seat of her own, she notices the nervous air about her guest and blinks. "Oh - is something the matter? You look somewhat perturbed. I do hope everything is all right."

[sereneadherent]

Marianne takes a seat as instructed, watching Flayn warm up some food and put water on for tea. It's domestic, and endearing, and not helping her focus whatsoever.

Her anxiety must be more obvious than she realized, since it's the first thing her friend comments on the moment she sits after bringing everything to the table. "Oh, no, I'm fine." As lies go, it's one of her least convincing. "Please don't worry about me. I've just had a lot on my mind lately."

That part, at least, is the goddess-honest truth.

"How have you been? It's been too long since I've had a chance to see you."

[notcethleann]

"Yes, I agree - we should see each other more often! Perhaps you would like to join me in visiting Lorenz at his new workplace soon? I find the idea of a 'host club' simply intriguing. I have wondered whether such a thing may be a fulfilling pursuit for myself, as well."

Flayn folds her arms on the table (she can just hear Father's voice saying Flayn! Will you not mind your manners when you have a guest? Elbows off the table, please!) to study Marianne's face, then.

"But, Marianne, I do not believe that you are 'fine,' and I shall worry about you as I please!" Despite the somewhat scolding words, her gaze is sympathetic and concerned. "If you wish to speak of what has been troubling you, I am here to listen."

[sereneadherent]

"He's mentioned the host club to me, yes. I would love to go and support him." She's not too sure about the idea of a host club in and of itself, as it seems like the concept is that you pay people to be nice to you for a few hours. But Lorenz is undeniably refined and charming, and she expects he'll do very well there further honing his noble charisma.

Flayn, too, would probably flourish there. She's brave and charming and wonderful. Unlike Marianne, who in this moment feels more awkward and graceless than she has in quite some time.

Marianne struggles to respond to Flayn's concern, since there really isn't anything the matter with her. However, it's clear that the effects of her own nerves are threatening to sabotage this fragile, haphazard plan of hers. There is, of course, a correct way of handling the issue. She can take a deep breath, calm herself down, tell Flayn why she's anxious, and let that serve as a natural segue into discussing her feelings.

That is not what Marianne does. Instead, she simply lets her mind go blank and blurts out, "I think you're beautiful and I regret not kissing you properly when I had the chance."

A moment passes, and her eyes slowly widen in horror when she realizes what has just come out of her mouth. "I-I mean..." Oh goddess, please let Flayn take this more gracefully than she's said it.

[notcethleann]

"Then we most certainly shall! Perhaps Claude would like to accompany us as well, so that Lorenz may host all of us Deer as a house bonding activity."

Flayn tilts her head a little when Marianne doesn't respond right away to her offer. She will of course understand if her friend would rather not discuss whatever is wrong, but it is strange to hear no response at all...

...until a response does come. Flayn blinks. "Oh, I see."

And then a few seconds later, the words sink in properly. Her hands fly to her mouth and her eyes go wide. "Oh! Oh, I see! Oh, my, I am feeling quite flustered all of a sudden!" And indeed, her face has swiftly taken on a rosy shade of pink.

Marianne thinks she's beautiful? And wished to kiss her properly?? She laughs a little, a giggle that's hovering somewhere between surprised, nervous, and delighted.

"But Marianne, there is no need for regret! If you wish to kiss me, you may have all the chances you like. I happen to think that you are extraordinarily beautiful as well, you know."

[sereneadherent]

"Y-you do?" Of all the responses Flayn could have given, this flustered-but-apparently-interested reaction is quite probably among the best. It's also the most unexpected. Marianne simultaneously feels her heart soar and her mind turn over itself in confusion. Her? "Extraordinarily beautiful?" She wants to dismiss the very thought, but coming from Flayn like this she finds she doesn't have the heart to.

She blushes, coughing a few times in the back of her hand as she soldiers on with the topic. "I, um. I had no idea you thought so about me." Should she say more? It feels like she should say more. "I-I'm not good with these things, since I've never confessed anything like that before. But... you've always been so wonderful, Flayn, and watching you really come into your own here has been a privilege and a blessing. You amaze me, and I had hoped..."

A shy smile spreads across her features, gentle and hopeful, and she shakes her head a bit. "No, I had resolved to be honest with you about how I feel. Which is why I'm here."

[notcethleann]

"I must disagree that you are not good with things of this nature. I am quite impressed! I - well, if it is now the time to share such feelings, then I shall do so as well." The pink in her cheeks remains, but there's no hesitation as she goes on. "I recall that when I met you, you were so averse to speaking with anyone that I felt I could not see the true Marianne beneath your sadness. I wished to brighten your spirits, but I did not know how. And then, when I saw you again, you were ever so much stronger and braver, so bold and yet composed, and still just as kind as ever, if not more so."

Her smile grows warmer. "And then I saw you once again here in Avalon, and it is as though you continue to blossom like a flower each time we are apart. I, ah, I must confess that when you laughed so much at my silly impression at the party, I was quite captivated! I wish to see you laugh more often, Marianne."

Her gaze drifts down to the table, where Marianne's hand rests, and then back up to her face. "I wonder if perhaps you would allow me to take your hand?"